1st blog

I've decided I need an outlet for my crazy, hectic, wonderful, sometimes heart-breaking life. Since I'm married & have an instant family - I've learned that there is no sacred hiding place for my journal anymore - so .... blogging it is. Blogging is new to me & be warned....I will probably jump around in my blogs...but that's how my brain works.
I'll begin by saying that prior to this marriage, I've been alone. I've been married before (no children) - but still was alone & never had to worry about anyone but myself. I'm also an only child. I have a step-dad, who is better than my father was & had a step-mom once - but not for long & she's not worth the space I'm writing on. So...I got married almost a year ago to my high school sweetheart. He's divorced with 2 children, teen & pre-teen with very busy schedules. Between the 2 of them, they are in 6 sports & numerous school activities. I went from only me - to instant family. It feels like one of those water monkey things, that you add water & they grow instantly? Only I feel, sometimes, like the water monkeys have outgrown their space, and I can't find me anymore.
I knew that being a step-mom would be hard. As I stated earlier, I have a step-dad & I was a very confused & lost little girl & needless to say...I wasn't the best stepchild. That being said, being a step-mom is FRIGGIN HARD! I really had no idea how hard it would be. I was foolish. But I'm very much in love with my husband & my stepkids. I know that motherhood is a thankless job...but being a step-mom is extremely thanksless. You don't count. And let me tell you, being an only child & pretty much alone most of my adult life, not counting is about the hardest thing on the planet to come to terms with. Oh I know - "it's not about you" - but my life WAS about me. Now, it's about a minimum of 3 other people. Then you have to factor in the Ex-wife ...UGH....and in-laws, my own parents who are seperated & can't be in the same room, his friends, my friends, our new friends. There's not a lot left over for me time. Oh yah, I work full time & he owns his own business that consumes a lot of his time.
So....there is a brief background on how this blog is starting. Hope to write at least on a weekly basis.